Family ties

There is an old expression that says, “blood is thicker that water.” The idea conveyed by this expression is that, when push comes to shove, relationships with blood relatives are always stronger than relationships with other acquaintances and friendships, no matter how strong those other relationships may be. In one sense this statement is actually misleading, since our “blood relatives” may not technically be related to us at a blood level at all. (The fact is, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives and parents and children often have different blood types than one another.) But the idea is still true, which is simply that we all tend to have a stronger bond with our immediate family that we do with other acquaintances.

Because this principle is widely accepted, it may surprise some people to find out that Jesus made several statements that run directly contrary to this idea. In Matthew 12:47 Jesus was speaking to the crowds, apparently in a house, when someone came up and told him that his mother and his brothers were standing outside and wanted to speak with him. Jesus turned to the person who had told him this and said, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” He then pointed to the crowd of his disciples who were listening to his teaching and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”

In making this statement, Jesus undoubtedly offended his mother and his brothers. What is more, this statement stood in direct opposition to several thousand years of closely held family traditions and values. But if we look a little closer at what Jesus said, we find that he had good reason for making these statements. The first thing that we find when we look at this story is that Jesus’ mother and brothers were not coming to see him in order to hear his teaching. In fact, Mark 3:21 tells us that the real reason his family had come to see him was to “to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind.” As perceptive as he was, Jesus undoubtedly knew this and so, rather than confront them and expose their motives openly before the crowd, he simply chose not see them.

But Jesus was not simply trying to avoid an awkward social situation. He was making a powerful point about the reality of the family of God. As strong as his relationship with his natural family was, Jesus was making it clear that his relationship with his spiritual family was even stronger. Even though Jesus’ mother and brothers would later be active members of the church in the book of Acts the fact is that at this time they still had serious doubts as to his true identity. John 7:5 tells us plainly, “not even His brothers were believing in Him.” So at this time, Jesus’ brothers, and quite possibly his mother as well, were not members of his spiritual family. Jesus clearly confirmed this when he asked “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” and then pointed to his disciples in answer to his question.

Jesus was by no means trying to say family is not important – actually quite the contrary. However, he wanted to make it clear to us all that ultimately the most enduring family there is on earth is the family of God – composed of all those who have put their faith in Jesus, and been born again of God’s Holy Spirit. And even though most of us would certainly desire to have our natural families be part of our spiritual family as well, the reality is this is not always the case. Jesus made it clear in this passage that blood truly is “thicker than water” – as long as its his blood! He also made it clear elsewhere that if choosing him results in the severing of our relationships with certain members of our natural family, we have the assurance that it also results in becoming part of a much bigger, better, and more enduring family! (See Mark 10:29-30)