The
Mystery of Intimacy
The
concept of intimacy, whether physical, emotional or spiritual is quite
possibly the most amazing and intriguing concept in entire the realm of human
relationships. Unfortunately, it is
also one of the least understood. The
author of Proverbs 30 admitted his own ignorance on the subject of intimacy,
stating in verse 18 of that chapter that it was “too wonderful for me.” And yet, considering its importance to us
all, both in a literal sense with our spouse and spiritually as members of
the bride of Christ, we cannot afford to be ignorant on the subject of
intimacy. By
the design of God, the only human relationship designed to achieve both
physical and emotional intimacy is marriage.
In light of this, the relationship of marriage deserves both the
deepest study and the greatest revelation if we are to unlock the wonderful
mystery of intimacy. As is the case
with so many concepts and truths found in scripture, it is the first
mention of marriage in scripture that lays the foundation for all further
revelation on the subject. The
following verse is familiar to many people as the foundational verse
in regard to marriage: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be
joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) It
is unfortunate, however, that many people, in studying marriage, look only
at this verse, since the source of revelation for this verse actually comes
several verses earlier in the chapter – beginning with the creation of man in
verse 7. As we read this entire
passage, we notice several things that were not apparent from verse 24
alone. In
verses 7-9, we find out that, after making man in his own image and likeness,
God planted a garden, and put the man there to “cultivate it and keep
it.” The Hebrew word translated
“cultivate” in this passage means “to work, serve or till”. The Hebrew word translated “keep” means “to
hedge about, guard, protect or attend to.”
These duties God assigned man in the garden of Eden would later be
extended to Eve as well. That is to
say not only that Eve would later share the responsibility for dressing and
keeping the garden, but also that Adam would later be given the additional
responsibility for “dressing” and “keeping” his wife Eve. But
perhaps more importantly still, we see in verse 7 that God formed man first,
and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, at which point man, that
is Adam, became “a living soul.” The
brief account found in Genesis chapter 1:26-29 makes it sound as though God
made man and woman together at the same time.
But this passage makes it clear that it was Adam who was created first
– a fact which Paul would later re-iterate in 1 Corinthians 11:9 Based
upon this passage, some men have concluded that man is greater than woman;
this is simply not true. Ironically,
if anything, this passage would almost suggest that the opposite were
true. Consider that all species of
plants, birds, fish, insects and beasts were created before man, and
yet man, as God’s final, greatest creation was given dominion over all of
them. Even so, after God had made all
else, His crowning achievement if you will, was woman. Man:
Patterned after God
What
this passage does tell us is that Adam was made in the image and likeness
of God before God made woman.
Essentially, Adam was a physical representation of God, being made in
the very likeness God’s own nature.
And one of the most central themes to the nature of God is that He is
one – that is, he alone is God; He is complete in himself, having no
equal. It is easy to see, then, why it
is that God first made Adam alone, for he patterned Adam after Himself. It
seems strange indeed, then, that God should make the following statement -
one of the most powerful statements regarding man in the entire Bible: “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for
the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.’” (Genesis 2:18) Having
made man in His own image, God now looked at him and decided that one
particular aspect of man was “not good” – his aloneness. Some have assumed that the “aloneness” God
was referring to was simply a reference to man being the only human on
earth. Adam did in fact live for some
time as the only person on earth – both fulfilling his duty as the
caretaker of the garden of Eden as well naming all the animals. But I believe that God was saying much more
in this passage. Notice
that God’s solution to man’s aloneness was not to make another man, or a
group of men, or a brother, or even a sister, but to make “a helper
suitable for him.” This phrase is
very enlightening indeed. The Hebrew
word translated as “helper” comes from a root verb meaning “To surround, protect or give aid to.” It is the same Hebrew word this was used in
the Septuagint (The Hebrew translation of the New Testament) to translate the
word “helper” used in John 14,15 and 16 – in reference to the person and
ministry of The Holy Spirit. The
Hebrew word that is translated in this passage with the phrase “suitable for
him” literally means, “a part opposite; specifically a counterpart, or
mate.” This word comes from a root
meaning, “to front, i.e. stand boldly out opposite; to announce (always by
word of mouth) to expose, predict, explain, or praise.” It
is easy to see from these words that God had something more in mind than just
another person for Adam to talk to so he wouldn’t get lonely. God wanted Adam to have a counterpart
– defined as “something that completes, complements or fits another
perfectly.” Eve was not merely a
companion to Adam, she was the one who would help him be complete. She was, in one very real sense, his “other
half” – a phrase often used to describe one’s spouse. She was the one without whom he would not
indeed, even could not be complete. Male and Female He Created Them
In
Genesis 1:27 we are told, “God
created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and
female he created them.” From this
passage we see that it was both Adam and Eve that were created in the
image and likeness of God. Man and
woman both bear the likeness of God in different, complementary ways. Neither man nor woman alone bears
the complete image and likeness of God, but rather both of them, together. Since either man or woman, apart from the
other reflects only a part of God’s nature, they are each, therefore in need
of a counter-part in order to be complete. A
man bears the image of God predominantly in his strength, boldness, and
warrior-like tendencies. He bears this
image both in his physical make-up as well as in his role as the leader and
provider of his family. A woman, on the other hand, bears the image of God
predominantly in her beauty, gentleness, and nurturing tendencies – also
manifested in her physique as well as her comforting, mothering
instincts. It
is easy for most of us to see how man bears the image of God, since there are
many passages in scripture that describe God as a strong, warring, providing
and protecting God. But it is often
more difficult for us to envision God as possessing feminine traits, and
therefore harder to conceive of women as bearing his image and likeness in
equal proportion to man. But consider the following verses, which describe
God in feminine rather than masculine terms: Isaiah 49:15
"Can
a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the
son of her womb? Even
these may forget, but I will not forget you.” Isaiah 66:13 “As
one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you…” Luke 13:34
O
In
order to really understand and appreciate the relationship between man and
woman, we must go back and look at the account of the creation of Eve. For it is there that we will find the
secret of God’s design for man and woman from the beginning. Lets’ look, then at Genesis 2:21-23: 21
So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then
He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22
The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man,
and brought her to the man. 23
The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She
shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Without
question, what is most significant about this account is the fact that God
made Eve from something that he took out of Adam. Certainly God could have made Eve the same
way he made Adam – from “scratch” so to speak - that is, starting over from
the “dust of the earth.” Had God done
so, Eve could still have been a companion and friend to Adam, thereby putting
an end to His aloneness in a very real, albeit shallow sense. But as I said earlier, God was not
interested in simply making Adam a companion, but rather a counterpart. In
creating Eve from something He had taken from Adam, God was
creating a need in both man and woman to seek each other out at a level far
deeper than mere companionship. At a
core level, they would both long to be whole again – something they
could only accomplish by being re-united. Adam would never be complete again until he
was re-joined with that part which had been taken from him. And likewise, Eve
would never be complete without being rejoined to the one from whom
she was taken. What did God
take out of Adam?
But
there is still more to see in this passage that will give us even greater
cause to Celebrate God’s awesome wisdom.
In particular, notice in these verses that, after putting Adam to
sleep, God “took one of his ribs” and then “fashioned into a woman the rib he
had taken from man.” A closer look at
this act of God “fashioning” Eve out of one of The
Hebrew word translated “rib” in these verses is tsela` (tsay-law')
meaning “side” or “rib.” Of the
forty-one times the word is used in The Old Testament, it is translated as
“rib” only in this passage. By contrast, this same word is translated over 30
times as either “side(s)” or “side-chamber(s),” with all but two of these
being used in reference to either the tabernacle or the temple. Of particular interest to us in this study
is the use of this same Hebrew word to designate the small adjoining rooms,
or “side-chambers” of the temple – both Solomon’s Genesis
2:22 says that “God fashioned into a woman the rib that He had taken from
Adam.” A more literal translation
of this passage would be, “God built a woman from the rib He had taken
from Adam.” The picture here is
that God used this “rib” or “side chamber” that He had taken from Adam as the
foundation of another being – a woman.
It was more than just a random pick of one of Adam’s anatomical
members - as if God merely needed any part of Adam. God specifically chose this “side-chamber,”
to build the woman from.
Another way to say it would be that Eve was built entirely around
this “side-chamber” taken from Adam. It
is quite possible this part that God took from Adam’s side and built into a
woman included a literal rib. But I believe that it also included a very real
“side-chamber” as well – to be more specific, a womb. In the amazing world of human anatomy, the
womb stands out as the place where, by God’s own design, life is formed. It is in this small chamber that life is
conceived and from it that life first emerges. And in this we cannot help but see the
image of God – the one who conceived and formed all things. As
I mentioned earlier, when God first created Adam, and had not yet made Eve,
Adam was a physical representation of God on earth. And one of the chief characteristics of God
is his creativity – his ability to both create and form life. Consider that Jesus is referred to as being
begotten - or born of God.
Though God is spirit, not flesh, He nevertheless gave “birth” to Jesus
in a very real sense – that is to say that Jesus came out from
within the Father. It is not
strange then, that God should refer to Himself as both having a womb and
giving birth in Job 38:29: "From whose womb has
come the ice? And the frost of heaven – who has given it birth?”
It
follows then, that in creating Adam in His own likeness, God would create him
with a womb as well - referred to in
Genesis 2:21-22 as a “chamber” in his side. In further support of this belief,
consider Jesus - whom Paul referred to in 1 Corinthians 15:45 as “The last
Adam.” Following the crucifixion of
Jesus, in order to verify that he was dead, the body of Jesus was cut open by
one of the Roman soldiers who crucified him.
John give this account of the incident: “One
of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and immediately blood and
water came out.” (John 19:34) Just
as the first Adam had his side opened in the Garden of Eden, even so “The
Last Adam,” Jesus also had his side opened. And just as Eve was taken from Adam’s side,
the blood and water that came out of Jesus’ side signaled the formation of his
bride, the church - formed as a result of the redemption in his blood and
the “water” of His Holy Spirit. (John
3:5 & 1 John 5:6) God Closes A Place in Man We
have seen that, after declaring that it was not good for man to be alone, God
removed the “side-chamber” or womb from man and built a woman from it. In doing so, God was not only removing a
physical part of Adam, but also all the emotional aspects that went with
it. It is these very same emotional
attributes that comprise all the feminine, nurturing, mothering qualities in
women – the same qualities that make women inherently different than men. Then,
after removing this “side-chamber” from Adam, God “Closed up the flesh at
that place.” Once we see that this
“rib” that God removed from Adam to make Eve included a womb, it becomes clear
that the act of “closing up the flesh” in that place involved more than just
stitching up a surgical opening.
Indeed, it was not only at a physical level that God closed something
in man, but at a much deeper place in his soul as well. The
results of God “closing” this place in man can be seen in many ways. For example, as a general rule, men are far
less able than women to openly express their emotions. Men are also less able than women to “open
up” or “bear their soul” with others in social interaction. This is particularly noticeable as social
interaction progresses towards intimacy.
In fact, it is safe to say that men in general are less inclined than
women to be intimate at any level. But
the effects of this “closure” in the soul of man are not confined only to his
relationships with other human beings.
We see the effects of this closure also being manifest in his
relationship with God. This is
particularly noticeable in the area of intimate worship. Men typically have a harder time “entering
in” than women. Men are also less
instinctively submissive than women are to God, and are therefore more
inclined to fall into pride and willful rebellion. These things should not surprise us,
however, in light of what we have seen concerning the creation of Eve. “According to the Pattern” What
we are seeing is that some of the most profound truths concerning our
relationship both with our spouses as well as with God are written into the
very fabric of our creation. This is
true because the entire realm of physical creation was patterned after the
spiritual– just as God told Moses to build the tabernacle “according to the
pattern” which God had shown him. (Ex.25:9) This “pattern” God was referring
to was the spiritual tabernacle in heaven – also referred to as “The true
tabernacle” and the “greater and more perfect tabernacle.” (Hebrews
8:2; 9:11) It
follows then, that the more we see and understand certain truths in our
physical reality, the better we will be able to both trace them back to and understand
the spiritual truths after which they were patterned. In light of this
principle, Let’s take a closer look at marriage and physical intimacy and see
what spiritual truths we can find behind them. “The Two Shall Become One” When
the apostle Paul referred to the “great mystery” of Christ and His church, he
compared it to a man being “joined to his wife.” (Ephesians 5:31-32) This was not just the best analogy he could
think of, rather a direct correlation between a physical reality and the
spiritual reality that lies behind it.
This is why Paul used phrases in this passages that are reserved for
marriage alone – stating that the man would “leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife,” and that, as a result of this union, “The two
shall become one flesh.” In
1st Corinthians 6:16-17, Paul again made this same comparison
between the physical union of a man and a woman and the spiritual union of
Christ with his bride, the church: 16 Or do you not know that
the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, "THE TWO SHALL BECOME
ONE FLESH." 17 But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Without
a doubt, verse 17 contains one of the most profound statements in all of
scripture! Read it again – “The one
who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” In Matthew 19:5 Jesus quoted Genesis 2:24,
adding this phrase: “So they are no longer two, but one.” In this same way, the Spirit of Jesus
Christ is to be so united with our own spirit that we are no longer two
separate spiritual beings, but one! In
John 10:30 Jesus said, “I and my father are one.” Later, he prayed for his followers, asking
God “That they may be one, just as we are one.” (John 17:22) As Jesus’ followers, we are to know the
same degree of oneness that He knew with the father! God accomplishes this in us by joining His
spirit to ours, with the result that it is no longer us living, but Him
living in us, as us! The
word “intimacy” comes from a Latin word meaning “interior” or “Innermost,”
which, in turn comes from a verb meaning, “To put in.” Intimacy is the act of one person putting
himself into the innermost part of another person, or the resulting state of
that act. This is, of course,
particularly easy to see in the context of sexual intimacy, as that is
precisely what happens at a physical level between a man and wife. But while it may not be so easy to see,
this is also true of spiritual intimacy between Christ and His bride. The King’s bride Once
we see that there is a direct correlation between the physical union of a man
and woman in marriage and the spiritual union of Christ and His bride,
we cannot help but want to look deeper into the wonderful mystery of
marriage. And perhaps the most
revealing passages on the subject of marriage found in all of scripture are
found in the Song of Solomon.
Certainly when it comes to the actual act of physical intimacy,
nowhere in scripture is more descriptive or enlightening. Though
The Song of Solomon is filled with passages revealing great truths about
intimacy, the fourth chapter in particular is most enlightening. In this chapter we are given a behind the
scenes look and listen to an intimate interaction between a groom and his bride.
The chapter opens with the groom praising various aspects of his bride’s
beauty, and culminates (In chapter 5:1) in them engaging in sexual
intercourse together. As you read this
passage, hear these words not only as an exchange between a man and a woman,
but also between Christ and his bride, the Church. Beginning in verse 12, we find a series of
several statements that reveal a great deal about the mystery of intimacy –
both physical and spiritual: 12 You are a garden
locked, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. 13-14 "Your shoots
are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, henna with nard plants,
Nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, With all the trees of frankincense, Myrrh and aloes, along
with all the finest spices. 15 "You are a garden
spring, A well of fresh water, And streams flowing from 16 "Awake, O north
wind, And come, wind of the south; Make my garden breathe out fragrance, Let
its spices be wafted abroad. May my
beloved come into his garden And eat its choice
fruits!" 5:1 "I have come into
my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh along with my
balsam. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my
milk. Eat, friends; Drink and imbibe
deeply, O lovers." In
verse 12 the groom compares his bride to “a garden locked,” “a spring
enclosed” and “a sealed fountain.”
These three metaphors are very revealing. Notice first, that there is a common
element among them. Each metaphor
refers to a place that is a source of life and nourishment, but which is
“closed” or “sealed.” In this sense,
all three metaphors convey the same truth.
And yet, as we look still closer at these metaphors, we will find
subtle differences between them, each revealing slightly different aspects of
the mystery of intimacy. “A Garden Locked” In
the first metaphor, the groom refers to his bride as a “garden” - a place of
beauty, refreshment, and pleasure appealing to every sense. The Garden of Eden immediately comes to
mind – the most beautiful, refreshing place ever created. Verses 13 and 14 go on to list a number of
trees, plants, fruits and spices that grow in this “garden.” The picture the groom is painting here is
of a place where he goes to rest; a place where he is refreshed and
nourished; a place to which he retires to have all his senses saturated with
pleasure. But
notice again that this “garden” is “locked up.” This implies two things. First, it implies that the garden is
surrounded and therefore protected by some type of wall or fence, for
a lock would be worthless without some kind of hedge. (The Hebrew word translated “garden” in
this passage actually comes from a verb meaning, “to hedge about or
protect.”) Secondly, it implies that
there must be a door or gate in this wall or fence, for the same reason. Therefore, while the garden is protected
from and “locked” to most, it is actually vulnerable and open to the one who
has the key. Viewing
this metaphor in the light of sexual intimacy, we see that it is indeed an
accurate one. By the design of God, a
woman is a “garden” that is protected from and locked to all but her husband
– the one who possesses the “key.” But
it is not enough for her husband to merely possess the key. In order for a man to enter his “garden”
and partake of its pleasures, he must also understand how to use the
key. And this, in turn, requires that
he also understand the actual lock itself.
Sadly, most men never
really understand the lock mechanism if you will, that God built into their
wives, and therefore never truly enjoy the degree of intimacy with their
wives that God intended. Actually, the
term “mechanism” is misleading, as it implies something purely mechanical –
as if to suggest that a simple list of instructions would suffice to help one
open it. This is certainly not
true when it comes to intimacy! There
is, however, a natural process by which, according to the design of God, a
woman becomes both physically and emotionally ready for intimacy. And it is this very process that this
passage is Song of Solomon is revealing to us - the process of intimacy. “A Spring Enclosed” In
the second metaphor, the groom compares his bride to a “spring
enclosed.” This same comparison
between drinking water and partaking of sexual intimacy is used elsewhere in
scripture. (See Proverbs 5:15-18) But the word here translated “spring” is a
curious word. It comes from a verb
meaning, “to roll” and its literal meaning is “something that is
rolled.” It is translated “springs” by
extension – because of the common Middle-Eastern practice of rolling a large
stone over the mouth of a well or spring in order to close it. (See Genesis
29:2-10) There
are many logical reasons behind this custom of using stones to cover wells
and springs, but they can all be listed under two primary reasons: to keep
certain people and things out, and to keep the water in. In effect, stones used in this way were
crude doors, and their mass alone acted as a “lock” that would keep just
anyone from “opening” them. (The word translated “enclosed” in this phrase is
the same Hebrew word translated as “locked” in the first metaphor we looked
at.) From
this custom, we can extract some powerful truths concerning intimacy. By the design of God, there is a very real
obstacle, equivalent to a locked door that must be opened before a man can be
intimate with a woman. Consider again
how we defined intimacy: “the process by which one person puts himself into
the innermost part of another.”
Our “innermost part” is the most tender, vulnerable place within
us. It is easy to see then, that God
installed this “door” as a means of protecting the woman (and not just
to frustrate men, as some men think!) There
are also several instances in scripture where wells and springs were stopped
up in a more permanent fashion, in a deliberate effort to cut off the water
supply, so as to make it unavailable to enemies. (See Genesis 26:15 and 2
Chronicles 32:2-4) In such cases, it
was not a single large stone rolled over the mouth of the well or
spring, but rather many smaller stones, earth or other debris placed directly
into it. Obviously a well or
spring “closed” in this fashion would be even more difficult to access than
one having a single large stone rolled over its entrance. This
custom is also very revealing. Through
various negative experiences, some women become “closed” in a similar
fashion. Every one of these
experiences - most often physical, sexual and/or emotional abuse - acts like
a small stone that is tossed into the well.
Over time, these “stones” create a formidable block to anyone wishing
to “drink water” from this source.
The man who wishes to become intimate with such a woman will not only
have to remove the large “stone” which God himself placed over the mouth of
the well, but also all the additional debris added by others. And this task will take time, skill, and
patience. “A Sealed Fountain” In the third metaphor, the
groom refers to his bride as a “sealed fountain.” He sees her not only as a well or spring,
as in the previous metaphor, but a fountain.
The difference here is difficult at first to discern – very much like
the difference between the soul and spirit.
Both a well and a spring suggest a place from which one may draw
water, whereas a fountain implies the source itself. What the groom is revealing here is that
there are progressive levels of intimacy.
But
there is still another revelation to be seen in this metaphor. The word translated “fountain” comes from a
root word meaning “eye.” The reflex
muscles that close our eyelids to protect our eyes whenever they are in
harm’s way are both involuntary and almost instantaneous. Hence, the phrase, “The apple of one’s
eye” is used to refer to something highly cherished and protected. (See Psalm
17:8, Proverbs 7:2) The groom sees his
bride as the “apple of his eye.” (Zech. 2:8)
The
word translated “sealed” in this third metaphor is also very revealing. It was a common cultural practice to “seal”
important papers or documents – both to establish ownership or authority, and
to assure that they were not tampered with.
The seal - a small, engraved object of some kind - would be pressed
into soft, impressionable clay applied across an opening of some kind. The clay would then harden - thereby
creating a small but effective safeguard that was as binding as it was
fragile. Even
so, the groom recognizes the fragile, yet legitimate “seal” which God placed
over the opening to the “fountain” of intimacy within his bride. In doing so, he is acknowledging that God
Himself is the rightful owner of this “fountain.” And yet the groom also recognizes himself
as the rightful recipient of this “sealed fountain” – the one who has the
right to open it. Having done so, it
remains only for him to prove himself “worthy to break the seal.” (Revelation
5:1-2) A “Journey to Intimacy” As
we look again at these three metaphors collectively, we begin to see that
essentially, what the groom has revealed to us is a “journey to intimacy”
that he has embarked upon, both figuratively and physically. Step by step, he is plotting his course
into the innermost part of his bride.
And as we look still closer at this course he is setting, we will find
that each step of this metaphorical “journey” has a direct counterpart in the
physical anatomy of his bride. The
first step of the groom’s “journey” will be to enter his “garden locked” –
corresponding to the “outer lips” as they are called, of the vulva. Then, proceeding deeper, he will encounter
the “spring enclosed” – corresponding the “inner lips” of the vulva. And finally, as he progresses deeper still,
he will come to the “fountain sealed” – corresponding to the hymen, which
acts as a “seal” over the vaginal “fountain.”
This truth is the basis for the common cultural practice of using the
bloody sheet from a wedding couple’s first night together as proof of the
bride’s virginity – proof that the sacred “seal” was in fact broken that
night. (Deut. 22:13-17) Now
let’s follow the groom in Song of Solomon chapter 4 as he continues to pursue
this intimate “journey” into his bride.
In verses 13 and 14, he refers to all her charms metaphorically as an
orchard filled with various trees, plants, fruits, flowers and spices – all
designed by the creator to be enjoyed by man.
But in doing so, he is not only complementing his bride, he is
expressing his desire to partake from these “choice fruits” which she
has saved for him. (See 8:13) I
mentioned earlier that enjoying sexual intercourse is described
metaphorically in Proverbs 5:15 as “drinking water from your own cistern, and
fresh water from you own well.” Now,
in Song of Solomon 4:15, we see the groom using this same metaphor, comparing
his bride to “garden fountain,” a “well of living water” and “streams flowing
from Lebanon.” Notice these are listed
in order progressively out from the source: first “fountain,” then “well,”
and finally “streams flowing.” Notice too,
that he does not refer to any of these water sources as being locked or closed.
The locks have been opened, and the waters of intimacy have begun to flow. The Bride Speaks In
verse 16, the bride speaks for the first time in the chapter. This fact in itself is very revealing, for
thus far in the process of intimacy it has been the groom alone who has
spoken and acted. The bride has been a
willing but passive participant in this process until this point. Now, as a result of his words and actions,
her passion has been aroused, and we see her begin to respond to his
advances. As she does, she reveals
some powerful truths concerning the process of intimacy. In
her opening statement, the bride makes several appeals. First, she asks for the “north wind” to
“awake.” There are many references in
the Old Testament to things coming “out of the north.” In most every case, it is a reference to
something undesirable that is coming – often figuratively referred to as a
storm. In the prophets in particular,
the advent of a soon-coming war with their enemies, or period of exile was
often referred to as a “wind out of the north.” In
Proverbs 25:23, we read that, “The north wind brings forth rain.” Owing to the location and topography of
Israel, this is a literal truth. But
it also embodies a figurative truth – the same one expressed in the saying
“Into every life, a little rain must fall.” The bride is asking the North
wind to “awake” – to begin to blow, because she wishes for this “north wind”
to cause the storm clouds to gather, and “bring forth the rain.” And yet, as we shall see a little later,
the “rain” the bride has in mind, is not something undesirable at all, but
rather something very desirable.
Next,
the bride asks the “south wind” to “come.”
The reference to the “south wind” is also a figurative one, referring
to the advent of circumstances comparable to the warm, fragrant tropical
breezes that would blow up from the south.
In Luke 12:55 Jesus said, “When you see a south wind blowing, you say,
‘it will be a hot day.’ ” Even so, through this metaphorical reference to the
“south wind,” the bride is asking for the heat of passion to begin to
come. But
there is another hidden aspect to this request for the south wind to
come. In Job 37:17 there is a
reference to the land being “still because of the south wind.” Often the coming of a warm “south wind”
would be accompanied by periods of intermittent, sultry stillness, as the
warm and cold temperature fronts competed with each other, sometimes
canceling each other out entirely.
Here the bride is hinting at the interplay between her and the groom –
consisting of seasons of heated passion interspersed with warm, fragrant,
calm periods. Having
asked the north wind to awaken, and the south wind to come, the bride then
asks both of them to “breathe upon my garden that its fragrances may flow
out.” This is quite possibly the most
powerful statement in this entire passage.
As we examine it a little closer, we will find that it has enormous
implications both at a physical and a spiritual level. We will also find that the bride is here
revealing something very enlightening both about herself personally, and also
about the process of intimacy. Notice first that the wife
uses the same language the groom used several times in this passage,
referring to her “garden.” In doing
so, she is confirming that his “garden” metaphor is indeed a fitting
one. But she then takes this metaphor
to deeper level, asking the winds to come and “breathe upon” her garden, in
order “that its fragrances may flow out.”
It is a fact of nature that after a rain falls it releases a strong,
fresh fragrance into the air. This
phenomenon is even more noticeable in a garden that is filled with fragrant
trees, plants, and flowers. Then, as
warm breezes blow, this fragrance is stirred up even more, completely
saturating the air. In
the act of intercourse, which we have already seen to be a physical
representation of spiritual intimacy, the female body is designed to receive
into itself the male sex organ. But in
the wisdom and design of God, the female body must first be prepared
before this happens. This preparation
process is a direct result of erotic stimulation in foreplay. It involves the release of certain
hormones, which in turn result in the vaginal muscles softening and
lengthening, as well as the secretion of a scented, lubricating substance
that greatly facilitates intercourse. It
is this very preparation process that the bride is referring to when she asks
the north and south wind to “Breathe upon my garden that its fragrances may
flow out.” In fact, the Hebrew word
translated “flow out” in this passage literally means, “to distill,” which is
precisely how the lubricant mentioned above is released in to the vaginal
canal during foreplay - as thousands of tiny drops distilled across its
surface. With tremendous insight into
her own anatomy, the bride is asking her body to respond to her groom’s
stimulation, in order to prepare her for intimacy. Consummation Then,
at the height of her sexual arousal, after she senses that the “north wind”
and the “south wind” have indeed “Breathed upon” her “garden” and caused her
“fragrances” to “flow out” she invites her groom to “Come into his garden and
taste its choice fruits.” Little needs
to be said here, as it is quite clear that she is referring to him entering
her in the sense of sexual penetration, and enjoying all the pleasures, or
“Choice fruits” of sexual intimacy. But it is extremely
important that we notice the fact that she has not said this until now. This is because it has not been until this
point in the process of intimacy has she truly been prepared for
intimacy. For the groom to have
attempted to “enter his garden” prior to this point, though perhaps equally
pleasing to him, would have been selfish and insensitive. What’s worse, had he done so, it may very
well have resulted in his bride being more “closed off” to intimacy in the
future. And unfortunately, this very
thing does happen in many relationships.
In Song of Solomon 5:1 the
groom again speaks, this time in response to his bride’s invitation: “I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my
myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my
wine and my milk.” Once
again this passage needs little explanation, as it is clear he is referring
to the consummation of their marital union.
In rich, metaphorical language, the groom makes it clear that he has
not only “entered his garden” but also “eaten” and “drunk his fill” of all
the pleasures found therein. Understanding Spiritual Intimacy I
have pointed out several times the direct correlation between physical and
spiritual intimacy. Earlier we defined
Intimacy as the act in which one person puts himself into the innermost part
of another, or the resulting state of this act. Spiritual intimacy then, may be defined as
the act in which we “draw near to God” and He “draws near to us” and the
relationship with Him that results from that act. I
also pointed out earlier that there is a direct parallel between the
tabernacle and the process of intimacy.
Indeed, the tabernacle is actually a physical representation of
intimacy itself, having been patterned after the “true tabernacle” in heaven. As we examine the tabernacle, we will see
it is actually a visual aid designed by God to show mankind how to approach
His throne The Origin of the Tabernacle To
do a thorough study on the tabernacle and all its various components would
undoubtedly be very rewarding. It
would, however require a lot of time, and fill a lot of pages, and that is
not the goal of this article. Our goal
here is to examine only how various components of the tabernacle relate
directly to intimacy, and to let the overall design of the tabernacle reveal
more to us about the process of spiritual intimacy. And as we begin, the first thing we notice
is that God Himself stated His reason for having Moses and the Israelites
construct it: "Let them construct a sanctuary for me, that I may dwell among
them.” (Exodus
25:8) From
this verse, we can see that the heart of God’s purpose behind the tabernacle
was His desire to dwell with, and ultimately in His people. At a heart level, God desires to be
intimate with us. Had He wanted to, it
would have been easy enough for God to make Adam and Eve and then just turn
his head towards some distant corner of the universe and not look back. But God created us to fellowship with Him –
to be intimate with Him. This has
always been his desire, as we can see clearly demonstrated in Genesis 3:8: “They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the
cool of the day…” Only
a short while after their sin, we see God coming to Adam and Eve, desiring to
commune with them in the garden “in the cool of the day” – or, literally,
“when the day breathes.” This same phrase is used twice in the Song of
Solomon, once by the bride (2:17) and once by the groom (4:6). In each place, the lovers are referring to
the time of intimacy – which they define as “when the day
breathes.” It is a reference to the
end of the day, when the heat of the day is replaced by the invigorating
coolness ushered in by the evening breezes.
We can see in this phrase a veiled reference to the climactic and
refreshing nature of intimacy. As
a result of their sin, Adam and Eve were removed from the garden and were no
longer able to enjoy the intimate communion with God that they had before the
fall. But even though sin prevented
man from fellowshipping intimately with God, it did not lessen God’s desire
to fellowship with man. And it is
against this backdrop that we must view the tabernacle, if we are to learn
from its design. The tabernacle was
built because of God’s desire to be intimate with man, and it was designed by
God in such a way as to fulfill this purpose. The Design of the Tabernacle We
saw earlier that God told Moses to make the tabernacle and all its components
after the “pattern” God showed him. (Exodus 25:9,40) Later, God also told Moses to "raise”
or set up the tabernacle according the “plan” that God showed him. (Exodus
26:30) What this tells us is that it
was not only the various components of the tabernacle that were made after a
spiritual pattern, but also the way in which these components were arranged
when the tabernacle was set up. The tabernacle included
not only the actual structure itself, but also the portable wall that
surrounded it, and the following components, or pieces of furniture: the Ark of the Covenant, the altar of
incense, the table of showbread, the golden lamp stand, the brass laver, and
the brass altar. Each of these
components had a specifically designated purpose and location. And it is in this design that we will see a
pattern for spiritual intimacy. Perhaps
the most interesting thing about the arrangement of the furniture of the
tabernacle is the resemblance it bears to the design of a woman’s body. If we view the entire tabernacle, we see
the bronze altar corresponds to the head, the laver corresponds to the neck,
the lamp stand and the table of showbread correspond to the breasts, the
altar of incense corresponds to the navel, and the Ark of the Covenant
corresponds to the womb – the “innermost chamber.” The more we look at the tabernacle, the
clearer this correlation will become. Earlier,
we referred to the groom in fourth chapter of Song of Solomon as being on a
“journey to intimacy,” with each step bringing him closer to the “innermost
part” of his bride. As we look at the
overall layout of the tabernacle, we will find that the entire structure was
built around this same concept of a “journey to intimacy.” This “journey” begins outside the outer
court, and has as its destination the Holy of Holies – the innermost chamber
of the tabernacle – where the presence of God was manifested and He had
intimate communion with man. In
the Old Testament, only the priests were allowed to make this “journey of
intimacy” into the tabernacle. And
only the high priest could actually enter
the Holy of Holies – and he could only do so once a year on the Day of
Atonement. Now, thanks to the blood of
Jesus and the New Covenant, every Christian can not only take this “journey”
but also reach the destination, for we have all been made “Priests to our
God.” (Rev. 1:6, 5:10) The
next thing that strikes us about the design and layout of the tabernacle is
that there were three “doors” that had to be opened and passed through before
someone on this “journey of intimacy” reached the Holy of Holies. These three “doors,” which were actually
linen curtains hung from pillars correspond directly to the three figurative
doors that the groom encountered on his “journey” into the innermost chamber
of his bride. The
first of these three “doors” was the gate in the portable wall that formed
the outer court. This gate corresponds
to the “Locked Garden” – which as I said earlier, implies a wall of some
kind. Next came the door that led into
the Holy Place – the outer room of the tabernacle itself. This door corresponds to the “spring
enclosed.” Last came the veil that
served as the “door” into the Holy of Holies.
The veil corresponds to the “sealed fountain.” Just as the “spring” and “fountain” were
located within the confines of “garden,” so the Holy Place and Most Holy
Place are located within the confines of the wall that surrounded the outer
court. We
can already begin to see the direct correlation between the act of drawing
near to God in the tabernacle, and the act of physical intimacy. But this correlation becomes even easier to
see as we continue to examine the design of the tabernacle. Having entered through the gate into the
courtyard, the first thing the priests encountered was the bronze altar, upon
which sacrifices for sin were offered.
Next, as the priests proceeded towards the tabernacle, they
encountered the bronze laver – in which they were to wash their hands and
feet before proceeding. (Ex. 30:18-20)
The goal of both the
bronze altar and the laver was to prepare the one who had embarked on this
“journey to intimacy.” Before sinful
man could have intimate communion with a Holy God, he had to be cleansed from
his defilement. Without a doubt this principle
has a practical application in the arena of physical intimacy. But its application to us as Christians
pursuing spiritual intimacy is our focus here. As many New Testament passages point out,
Christ has fulfilled for us the duties of both the bronze altar and the
laver, having become our sacrifice for sin, and washed us in his word and his
blood. (John 1:29, 15:3; Eph. 5:26;
Heb. 10:5-12; Rev. 7:14) In
Song of Solomon 1:2, the bride asks her groom to “Kiss me with the kisses of
his mouth!” Later, in 2:6 and 8:3, she refers to him having “his left hand
under my head.” In each of these
places, the bride is referring to her groom engaging in actions customarily a
part of the first stages of sexual foreplay.
Even so, the altar and the laver represent the first things that must
happen to prepare us for spiritual intimacy with God. Anyone who has not yet experienced the
freedom of having his sins “taken away” (John 1:29) and being washed with the
“washing of the water of the word” (Eph. 5:26) will not be able to go on to
greater intimacy with The Lord. Entering the Holy Place After
being prepared for intimacy at the bronze altar and the laver, the
priest would then proceed to enter the tabernacle itself. Upon entering the Holy Place, he would
encounter three pieces of furniture – the table of showbread on his right,
the lamp stand on his left, and the altar of incense directly in front of the
veil leading into the Holy of Holies.
I pointed out earlier the correlation between the pieces of furniture
in the tabernacle and their corresponding parts on a woman’s body – with the
lamp stand and the table of showbread corresponding to the breasts. Both
the lamp stand and the table containing the showbread represent the Word of
God. The correlation between God’s
word and a woman’s breasts is easy to see in Peter’s admonition to new
believers in 1 Peter 1:2: “Like
newborn babes, long for the pure milk of The Word.” Just as a baby needs the nourishment found
in it’s mother’s breast milk, even so every new Christian needs the
nourishment found only in the Living Word of God. In
the lamp stand we see God’s Word as “a lamp unto my feet and a light unto
my path.” (Psalm 119:105) The lamp stand in the tabernacle required a
supply of oil that served as fuel, as well as regular tending. (Leviticus
24:1-4) Even so, “handling
accurately” the “Word of Truth” requires the interpretation of the
“Spirit of Truth.”(John 16:13 & 2 Peter 1:19-20) And all who want to go on to intimacy with
God, must first learn to “walk in the Light” of the Word. In
the table of showbread we see God’s Word represented as “The bread of life” that gives life to all who eat it. (John
1:14, 6:33-35) By God’s command, the
showbread was replaced with fresh loaves every Sabbath (Lev. 24:5-8). We see here a hint at regular, weekly
attendance in the sanctuary, where a fresh loaf of “Living Bread” was served
in the form of the spoken word. But
perhaps even more accurately, we can see a parallel between the Israelites
going out daily to gather manna (Ex. 16:16-21) and the Christian going daily
to gather “The Living Bread” of The Word. A
closer look at God’s original instructions to Moses concerning the table of
showbread reveals yet another powerful truth.
There were to be 12 loaves of the “showbread” on the table – one for
each of the tribes of Israel. The
Hebrew word translated “shewbread” in the book of Exodus literally means
“Bread of the face” or “Bread of the presence.” The idea was that this bread was to be kept
before God’s face – that is, in his presence.
(See Matthew 18:10) This
can be taken two ways. First, we see
God keeping his people ever before his face – even as he declared in Isaiah
49:16: “Your walls are continually
before me.” But we also see God’s
desire for his people to keep their faces ever before him. We can also see this point being made when
God’s people rebelled from Him, and He declared that they had “Turned their back to me and not
their face.” (Jeremiah. 2:27, 32:33)
The admonition to us is to keep our face ever before our father,
having no cause to turn our faces away from him in shame. The Altar of Incense The
last piece of furniture to be encountered before reaching the Holy of Holies
was the golden altar of incense, which was closely associated with the Holy
of Holies. In fact, its association
with the Most Holy place was so close that some passages actually describe it
as being located within the veil.
(Leviticus 16:12-13, Hebrews 9:3-4)
In Exodus 30:6-8 God told Moses that incense was to be offered on this
altar “continually.” As we shall see
later, this represented the “sacrifices of praise” that we are to “continually
offer up” to God.” (Heb. 13:15) In
Leviticus 16:2, 12-13, God told Moses that the high priest was to offer
incense upon this altar before proceeding into the Holy of Holies. As the incense burned upon the altar, a
cloud of smoke would form in the Holy of Holies, and it was in this cloud
that God would then meet and have intimate communion with man. Just as the bride waited until the north
and south winds had caused her “fragrances to flow out” before inviting her
groom to come into her “garden,” God waited until the fragrant smoke from the
altar of incense had filled the “innermost chamber” of the tabernacle before
inviting man to come in and commune with him in the Holiest Place. The
altar of incense was patterned after the altar that stands before the very
throne of God, and the incense offered upon this altar represents the “The
fruit of our lips” that we offer up to God.
(Psalm 141:2: Hebrews 13:15; Revelation 5:8 and 8:3-4) The incense consisted of four spices, (Ex.
30:34-35) – corresponding to our prayers of adoration, confession,
thanksgiving, and supplication. As we
draw near to God, offering the “incense” of our prayers, a spiritual “cloud”
begins to rise before His throne, preparing us for intimate communion with
the presence of God. We
saw earlier that each one of the various pieces of furniture in the
tabernacle corresponded to a part of the female anatomy, with the altar of
incense corresponding to the navel. In
Song of Solomon 7:2, the groom referred to his bride’s navel as a bowl or
goblet that was always filled with “mixed wine.” There is a direct parallel between this
bowl of “mixed wine” and the golden bowls of incense that were mixed with the
prayers of the saints and offered on the altar before God’s throne. (Revelation. 5:8, 8:3) Entering Within the Veil Once
the room was filled with the fragrant smoke from the altar of incense, the
high priest could then proceed to enter within the veil, which served as the
door to the Holy of Holies. In our
comparison between the various components of the tabernacle and various parts
of a woman’s body, we saw that the Ark of the Covenant corresponded to the
womb. Entering the Holy of Holies
then, can be seen as being equivalent to the actual act of sexual
intercourse, with the veil corresponding to the hymen, which must be passed
through, and in many cases torn in the process. This
correlation becomes even clearer when viewed in the light of the New
Testament. At the moment of Jesus’
death, the veil in the temple was torn in half, showing that the way to
intimacy with God was now open to everyone.
Referring to his ascension to the throne of God after His
resurrection, Hebrews 9:24 says “Christ
did not enter a holy place made with hands, a mere copy of the true one, but
into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God for us.” When Jesus was presented before God’s
throne, He was completing the journey of intimacy in the “true tabernacle” –
entering “within the veil… as a forerunner for us.” (Hebrews 6:19-20) Inside The Ark The
last and most intimate piece of furniture in the tabernacle was the Ark of
the Covenant. The lid to the ark,
referred to as the “Mercy Seat” was patterned after the very throne of God. It was guarded by the Cherubim, just as
God’s throne is. (Exodus 25:18; Revelation 4:5-8) Even so, God is referred to as being “enthroned above the Cherubim.” (1
Chronicles 13:6; Psalm 80:1) It was
here, above the mercy seat, that God actually communed with man. (Exodus
25:22, Numbers 7:89) I
mentioned before that the ark, as the innermost chamber in the tabernacle,
corresponds to the womb in a woman’s body.
This correlation becomes easier to see when we examine the articles inside
the ark. According to Hebrews 9:4,
there were three items inside the ark: a golden jar containing manna, Aaron's
rod, and the two stone tablets on which the covenant was written and from
which the ark derives its name. A
closer look at these three items reveals yet another profound correlation
between the tabernacle and physical intimacy. Together
Aaron’s rod and the two stone tablets are a picture of the male sex
organ. The manna, which is described
in Exodus 16:31 as being “white like coriander seed,” is a vivid picture
of semen – the seed of man. We see
here not only another symbolic reference to the act of physical
intimacy, but also to the goal of physical intimacy – the depositing
of the man’s seed into the womb of the woman for the purpose of
procreation. Here, in the “womb” of
the tabernacle, God in His awesome wisdom had Moses place these three
elements, giving us a clear picture of intimacy once again. In
the old covenant the Word of God, as embodied in the law (the stones) was
ministered through the priesthood (represented by Aaron’s rod) resulting in
the “living bread” (represented by the manna) being implanted in the hearts
of God’s people. And now, under the
New Covenant, the process is almost identical. The Word of God, embodied in Jesus Himself,
has been ministered through Him as the Mediator of the New Covenant,
resulting in His own “incorruptible seed” (1st Peter 1:23) being
implanted in our hearts. The Goal of Intimacy In John 15:5 Jesus said
that if we abide in him and he in us, we would bear much fruit. The reason he could make such a bold
statement is because He is confident that If His seed is planted in us, and
the life of His Spirit is flowing through us, we will bear fruit. And when Paul listed the fruit of the
Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, he was not simply making a list of qualities we
should try to put on now that we are Christians. Rather he was stating unequivocally certain
fruits that will be manifested in the life of anyone who has “joined
himself” in intimacy with The Spirit of Christ. (Matthew 7:17-18; 1 John 3:9) The
ultimate goal of intimacy, whether physical or spiritual, is fruit. Through the act of physical
intimacy, a man plants his seed into the woman’s “garden.” Then, by the amazing design of God, the
man’s seed combines with the woman’s egg and produces the “fruit” of another
human being. Once that fruit is fully
matured, it becomes a man or woman who has been made in the “image and
likeness” of its parents. (Genesis 5:3)
As the genetic information from two people – the father and the mother
– are combined to form one new being, we see in a very literal sense the
truth of the statement, “The two shall become one.” The
same is true of spiritual intimacy. As
we continue to draw near to God, the seed of His word is continually
“implanted” in our hearts (Luke 8:11,15; James 1:21). As His “incorruptible seed” grows to
maturity in us, it bears the “fruit” of God’s own divine nature being
reproduced in us. (1 Peter 1:23, 2
Peter 1:4) Just as the seed of man
joins with the egg of a woman to produce a new man, the seed of God’s Word
and Spirit within us joins with our spirit to form a new man. (1 Corinthians 6:17, Ephesians
4:23-24) Now, as a result of our
spiritual union with the Spirit of Christ, we are “no longer two, but
one.” (Matthew 19:5) In 2 Corinthians 3:18 the
apostle Paul was referring to this very same process when he said: “We all, with unveiled
face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed
into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the
Spirit.” The
phrase “With unveiled face beholding… the glory of the Lord” refers to
being intimate with God in the Holy of Holies, even as Moses was. After such times of intimate communion with
God in the Holiest place, Moses would come out glowing with the Glory of
God. (Exodus 34:29-35) And in 2 Corinthians 3:8-11, Paul said that
the glory that can be ours as we pursue intimacy with God in the New
Testament is even greater than that which Moses knew! But this “greater glory”
will only be experienced by those who draw near to God without the “Veil” of
a sinful self-consciousness. These are
the ones who, according to Psalm 45:11, have “Forgotten their people and
their father’s house” (a reference to their old life) and as a result,
the King will “desire their beauty.” (Psalm 45:11) These are the ones who have traded in the
“veil” of a sinful self-consciousness for a true understanding of their new
identity in Christ, and as a result can now stand confident, blameless, and
unashamed before the very throne of God. (Genesis 2:25; Ephesians
1:4; Colossians 1:22; Jude 24) Conclusion The goal of this study was
to increase our understanding about the source, nature, and goal of intimacy
– both physical and spiritual. Now we
must apply this revelation to our relationship with our spouse and with
God. We simply cannot be content just
to stand in the outer court when God has called us to be intimate with Him in
the Holy of Holies. Jesus has gone
before us as the forerunner and prepared an intimate meal for us with the
father in the Holy of Holies. (Matthew
22:4) And yet God is still asking many
Christians the same question Laban asked Jacob in Genesis 24:31: “I have prepared the
house, why are you standing outside?” Hebrews
10:19 says “we have confidence to enter the holiest Place by the blood of
Jesus.” Then, to explain the
source of this confidence, verse 22 goes on to inform us, that we have had “our
hearts washed form a guilty conscience and our bodies washed with pure
water.” This reference is to the
tabernacle, and specifically to the altar and the laver, which we discussed
earlier. At the altar, or the cross of
Jesus, our hearts were “washed
from a guilty conscience” with the intended result that we should
have “no more consciousness of sin.”
(Hebrews 10:2) Then, at the
laver, “our bodies were washed with pure water” – a reference to the
process of God’s Word cleansing our conscience, and symbolized in baptism.
(Eph. 5:26, 1 Peter 3:21) Now, it remains only for
us to “Draw near with confidence” to the very throne of God, and begin
to experience the intimacy to which we have been called! (Hebrews 4:16,10:22) The garden door is open, and the voice of
the groom can be heard in the cool of the day as he calls out to his bride, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.” (Song 2:10) |